Defcon: Men's Metrix Snowboard Gloves

Remember back in they day when Lib Tech maintained hard-line pseudo American pride and refused to use metric screws in its boards? Without fail, every time there was cherry pow-wow, you'd always seem to magically loose a minimal 2 screw per binder. You'd carefully wiggle your way down the mountain ever so gently so as not to eat poo...cuz you might slam hard enough to pop your oakley blade straight off your croakies. Upon reaching the rental shop, the bearded, granola crunchin telemarker behind the counter would say "Like sorry broah, we like only have Metrix type hardware". Well, the Metrix glove and mitt won't ever let you down, even on Epic Pow days. Plus they're also wicked affordable, so you'll have enough cheddar left over for a back up pair of blades and croakies.

• DFX - Seamless insert - Constructed without seam to be guaranteed leak-proof, forming a second barrier of defense. Think of it like a make contraceptive for your hand
• Twin Blade - Goggle Squeegee - It'll cut frost right off your goggle lens and remove your eyebrows too
• Sveltveetah Nose Wipe - Super soft and supple - Won't scratch goggle lenses or chafe swollen, snotty nostrils, smooth and creamy just like a perfectly processed cheese spread
• Teflon - Hyperteflon durable water repellency - a special treatment applied to the fabric to ensure that all outside invading moisture and soils bead on the fabric instead of penetrating your and protection system. Good on skillets, even better on gloves
• Deftex - [8,000mm/5,000gm2] - State-of-the-Arts waterproof / windproof / breathable fabric. Oxford nylon with a micro porous coating repels water and wind while unwanted body moisture is expelled for a dry, comfortable hand protection system in any condition
• Silicone - Sticky fingers - Its a documented fact that silicone is solely responsible for increased circulation and "readability" of Victoria's secret catalogs amongst teenage males for years now
• Kung Fu Grip - Pre-curved finger construction
• Polyfil - Polyfil Insulation - Your basic "Fluffy" insulation.